The Good of May |
The Sundance Channel: Don't miss Trans, 14-Up in America, The Adventures of Sebastion Cole, The Pond, the segment on the filming of the best song in Hedwig,a riotous crossdressing fest, or this wonderful short (Latino 2 or 3) about a girl who dreams her brother dies while they are living in a car-- |
May 2001 Life better be fun Wow-I got a couch and I got a computer and a good chair. Aren't I so there?What else is so there here? Digital cable--meaning, 200 channels including Discovery Kids and HBO this and HBO that and all I ever watch of it is Sundance DSL- all web sites always did load fast on 56 k but I do like not waiting for that ringing phone and also downloads are very swift now--cool! Cherry hutch with glass doors--inherited from Grandma Young, Josefina atop it in her leather boots, straw hat, and red-striped dress; a stuffed gorilla hanging by one arm from it holding in his other hand the cable to my Sony camcorder with color viewer , 12 hour battery and night-Shot; real food , from cottage cheese to celery and cantelope, no junk food in the house: wicker ceiling fans and AC icemaker and water dispenser on outside of freezer; thermostat on inside of meat drawer seperate from fridge thermostat Sailor Moon posters on Mary's bedroom wall AAron Carter singing I want candy on the tv in her room, Homeward Bound on the tv in my room, and Trans or Slacker on the tv in the living room keyboard real good vaccuum cleaner--the best Teflon on the carpet Paper towels for toilet paper Oh well nobody's life is constantly perfect! |
But this is cool--after Mary got Josefina I was able to afford Molly for Marina (don't ask how Bitty Baby fared 4 years earlier) I never got the moustache I feared I was getting in 7th grade We all have beds, unlike families in other parts of the world Good paints-the children made some stunning water-color paintings tonight, with paints in tubes in a wood box I've never regreted buying Running water--hey! Electric phone our house didn't burn down; I have a lot of childhood ephermera my kids get to see Lizzie McGuire (they both say I am just like that mom and that makes me beam) |
I got this call tonight, a guy's voice said ,sort of sighy, "hi..." and it took me a minute, although I knew it was someone I was real close to, the way he said it, like, here's me, your guy--it took me a sec..and I was so thrilled that it was the lazy--don't you dare slur your words!-voice of the one I love.I just feel so tight, so close to him, I could deal with the rest of my life with him.I just can't stop caring for him, his rough side having been displayed to me and all. I admire a lot about him. My ex-husband is like a dear bedridden, uncle you love because you've known him and his vulnerabilities; Bob is part of my breath |
Bob didn't do this to me. Bob remodels houses and restaurants and bars all day and plays guitar at night in his island chair ---I was always touched by his hard-working plight. The guy got hooked by a 17-year-old girl when he was 15--she claimed pregnancy and got him married and then said casually that she had miscarried (no doctor or hospital though). He never went back to school though. He worked so hard all his life but he always had a serious work ethic so he always worked 60 hours a week doing more than anyone else in the time alloted.25 years ago he was getting serious lead poisoning by a battery-melting company. Then he was the fix-it man at an apartment complex, a Piccadilly Cafeteria, he took on all jobs and he remodeled my house so good. So good. He is so special. He totally remade this house into a dream. He is a perfectionist--bad for his trade, if you work under the table under another dude as he does. (My job was one he didn't have to run through this a -hole) |
I could love him forever. After he works 10 hour days he comes home and paints his skylights and stuff. He is the dream man. I would love to see him happy. It doesn't have to be me. That is how I am. |
I could tell it hit him hard when his wife left him. While she was pregnant with his only child, he grandly built them a 3,000 square-foot home. he built it all single-handedly except the roof and some of the dry-wall. It is muy moderne. She took the kid and left. He has tried so hard to afford 3 bathrooms while living alone, since. When I lived in Hermosa Beach a lot of the ads for roomates that accepted children were placed by Hermosa-Manhattan-Redondo Beach guys whose wives had moved on with the kids except 4 days a month where the kids came back, and who didn't want to loose their original homes. Just hoping someone would need a place who could tolerate their kids here and there---just trying to keep on keeping on. |
I tink mebbee I perfectionist too--- |
Bob is so there compared to my ex-husband. he offered today to rescreen the window screen the cats tore and bend out the bend; clean up my yard and fix everything and add to everything as soon as it is cool. My ex just moved on, in baby steps, so we have to wait. --I've been divorcced 2 1/2 years but my ex is lost...monitors and stalks. |
Bob saw Shanna last night. His mother couldn't get in because Shanna didn't know her birth year and she had to specify birthdates of all visitors. Bob said it was interesting because his ex was there, but it was depressingYou can't see your daughter's room, it's not like ," here's where I sleep, Mom and Dad", like at a dorm or something. Although she is a very young 21. And she should be able to show them where she sleeps. They can't give her anything, not even a note. she has to wear this awful picture they took of her, looking fogged, on her wristband. |
Bob had fallen in love with her mom when she was 8 and took her on, he adopted her . I saw how much he did for Dan's daughter, my Marina, while with her mom. So I know he was close to Shanna. gotta hurt, seeing the kid at the jail. |
Domestic abuse includes if the guy throws things and smashes things to intimidate you, or keeps you from going places and being free to go off. That means I am a woman wrapped up with two of them, the one who intimidated and the controlling one. The advice for friends of such people is to accompany them to file charges if they want to . Funny. The friend who cared enough to do that with me against D was B, and against B was D. |
All I've ever wanted is harmony. i've never had the proverbial wild hair . I believe they hate my placidity. |
Youv'e seen the ads. Check out mine: SWF, 47, heart transplant candidate, Hepatitis C, 2 ruptured discs, 2 belligerant kids seeks financially secure healthy handy-around his big house type of guy for dining, unconditional love, and the childrens' future... |
He knows my husband moved out 7 days ago and spent most of the last 6 days in my driveway monitoring my moves yet he said as soon as I want he will fix up my whole place for me, everything, rescreen torn screens and bend the frames back out, clean up yard dogs trashed after Dan duh-ly left garbage there-- he said he'd do everything i'm sweating--Change my locks...does anyone besides me know the magnitude of what this guy's already done for me??? If I said I wish I had a magazine rack he spent that whole night in his garagew making it and stuck it on my office wall. The only reason we are not together is-- DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (Does it end? I'm not sure and do I want to find out my last year on earth? No.) We can each take responsibility for our own violence by learning healthy ways to deal with fear and insecurity and stop trying to control others. Those feelings lead us to feel out of control . Feeling out of control leads us to a percieved need to control. Acting on that leads to controlling behavior. |
I love you Bob I want you Bob What do I do Bob |
Bob built my house and Dan threw the coffee cup at the door and left the stains there for 8 months to show how lousy Bob's work is. To show my kids he is 3 years old, not their dad. Somewhere on top of all this I need a dead person's beating heart transported to me quickly. Who is emotionally supportive ? I cannot forget Bob's emotional outbursts and rage . Can I? |
Are you with someone who is scary?. |
Who is you Bob? |
